I May Not Be A Smart Man

If I were to go back in time five years and watch myself for like a week I really don't know how to react. I think I might just throw up at how socially awkward, quite and downright delusional I was. I was twig thin but thought I was some ripped stud. Man, was I skinny. Somebody needed to take me down to the McDonald's and just get some kind of flesh on my Skeletor (spelling?) frame cause there were nine irons that were thicker than my limbs. I couldn't stand in front of a crowd of people and speak and not stutter or turn a bright shade of magenta. If you told me what my #1 activity was and what I was planning on going into after college I would tell you that you have got to be on some high-octane stuff because that's the biggest load of Oscar Meyer bologna that I would have ever heard. If I ever do meet my 14 year old self through some Star Trekian space-time portal then I would probably have to pop him upside the head. How could I possibly have anything more to learn about life? I've been through it all, I can't do any more growing.

I thought I had love and life all figured out because that's what middle school teaches you right? Those month long relationships had taught me all that I needed to know right? I can show you the world...Shining shimmering splendid. Curse you Disney and your empty promises of love through flying carpets and singing crustaceans. You corrupted entire generations of America's youth!! Anyway...I have learned a lot.

Probably most importantly I have learned what love really is. And there's really only one way to truly experience it and that is from the source. 1 John 4:19 says "We love because He first loved us." God is the source. Without experiencing that love I could have done none of the growing I have to this point. There is no way that that 14 year-old could get up in front of dozens of his peers and read something off a sheet of paper much less tell them what he believed. Love makes us grow. Until we experience it, we cannot reach our fullest potential and that is when we let God take control. I keep saying this but what a miserable little twerp I was. Who but living, loving God could take what I was and make what I am now? Our plans are only restrictions we put on God. As far as I've come I have so, so much farther to go. I keep fighting back, putting restraints on what God wants me to be. But I am glad for one thing. And to borrow the greatest quote from the greatest cinematic adventure of all time Avatar......kidding.....Forrest Gump: I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is.