God's Time

So I haven't written on here in a long time so I figured that today's 100 degree weather and nothing else to do give me a good reason to write something. But before I write anything of sustenance I would like to address this weather. I don't know what in the world which Mother Nature decided she was planning her calendar around but she has been one moody woman this year! Moderation is a good thing!! If more people took things in moderation our thinnest state (Colorado) wouldn't have an obesity rate of like 17% and our economy wouldn't be down the toilet! So I'm blaming all our nations on Mother Nature and her horribly set example. Anyway...

What I really wanted to do today, with my 20th birthday being a week away, was to reflect back on my last year of teenagerdom. Honestly I don't think there has been another year in which I have done more growing than this past one. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I don't think I would recognize the old me. If I did I'd probably say: "You're an idiot", and walk away. Its been a wild ride and I'm looking forward to what changes God has in store for me this next year.

The one thing I have probably learned about more than any other is giving God control of every aspect of my life. It has definitely been an ongoing process. One which there have been many aches and pains involved. I am, by nature, not a very patient person and I have been forced to be patient with many areas of my life. God really does work in His own time and that has been the hardest thing in my life to accept. I do feel like a prayer has been answered though recently and without going into specifics its been an awesome thing to experience. I do feel though that all this anticipation and waiting has made me a bit gun-shy. I feel like God has put this blessing in my life for a reason and now (in my mind) its my end of the bargain not to screw it up.

After persistently pestering God for this now I'm afraid of messing it up. Something God given, I'm afraid of messing up. I think maybe that I don't think I'm ready. But if this is happening and it really is God-driven, which I believe that it is, then God believes that I'm ready. I can't screw it up.

When I was first asked to lead Wyldlife my senior year of high school I was a reserved, quiet kid. Leading Wyldlife was something I always wanted to do but something I never could actually see myself doing. God groomed me into something which I never previously thought I could do. He made me to be what it was that He intended me to be. Is this any different? Would God just leave me out to dry for something? Never. I think I just need to Cowboy Up and Git 'Er Done! Treat it for what it is: an answer to a huge prayer, and so, a huge blessing.

Jeremiah 29:11